The 5 Love Languages

October 06, 2020

Summary of the 5 Love Languages

Dr. Gary Chapman is the author of the 1992 New York Times Best Seller, The 5 Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment. In his book, Dr. Chapman discusses how people convey, accept, and react to love and emotions differently based on their personality. Love languages are the five ways people express and experience love. In turn, love languages can affect relationships with friends, family, peers, and romantic partners. Dr. Chapman’s book gives readers an insight on how people’s preferences of love vary and how to best give someone the love and affection that best suits them. Since his first book, Dr. Chapman has written other books that focus on people at different stages of life. Below is a brief description of the five love languages.

  • Words of Affirmation: It is important to tell someone you love that you admire them for whatever reasons you have like their physical appearance, their character, or just because they are appreciated. Praises can also be done through texting and on social media. But be careful because just as people feel loved through compliments, they may take criticism or negative comments to be hurtful.
  • Quality Time: Many people feel loved, cared for, and comforted when they are physically spending time with someone and have their attention. Such quality time allows for meaningful conversations with no interruptions or distractions.
  • Acts of Services: Going out of the way to do something you know a loved one will like and make them feel good is an act of service. This may include simple things such as buying a coffee, running errands, or doing something that takes time and effort to make the other person’s day better or easier.
  • Receiving Gifts: People often feel appreciated when they receive gifts – not because they are greedy or focus on the cost of a gift, but because they appreciate the time someone took to think about their likes and to choose a gift. This kind of gift giving shows that the person receiving the gift was on the other person’s mind and that the gift giver values their relationship.
  • Physical Touch: Many people in relationships value intimacy such as hugs, kisses, or being held. Physical contact makes them feel safe, secure, and protected.

Dr. Chapman also has two podcasts, Building Relationships and A Love Language Minute (which can be streamed on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or his website), and he also offers an interactive quiz on the 5 Love Languages website to help people learn about their love language. Click here to take these quizzes and see your results! How do they compare with other people you have relationships with? Do your results surprise you?

Buy The Five Love Languages on Amazon!

Dr. Jennifer Politis

Dr. Jennifer PolitisI am currently on a mission to empower. Empower women. Empower parents. Empower children. Empower therapists. Over my career, I have built a thriving counseling practice where my staff continues to empower their clients. I specialize in helping parents connect more with their children offering strategies to allow that to happen.

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